got inspired while readin tao @ panera before a J.O.Y. show.



i  tend  to     float
through  life  like
a     b  a  l  l  o  o  n.

alone,
until  someone  takes
hold  of  my  string
and  drags  brings  me  along,
somewhere
only  to  let  go,
again  i     float     .

usually,
with  no  direction
'till  the  wind
      pushesme  somewhere

i  put  up  no  fight.
balloons,  after  all,  are
pushovers.
they've  got  no
"kick"     .

luckily,
i  haven't  run  out  of  hydrogen  air
to  keep  me
going     floating     .

that's  one
of  a  balloon's  biggest  fears.
they  also  fear
confrontation.
it's  in  their  general  nature
     to  flee,
for  fear  of  being
trampled  on     .

a     b  a  l  l  o  o  n
isn't  very  good  with
     intimacy
either;  their  fragility
makes  them
     weak.

they  also  hold  in
alltheirfeelings.
they  have  no  sleeves  to
wear  their  hearts  on     .

but,
when  one   br  e  ak  sss,
you  hear  all  their  emotions
cry  out,  released
in  one  quick     POP.

it's  very
     STARTLING,
and  tends  to  freak  out
those  who  happen  to
witness it     .

if  the  balloon  can
                    avoid
confrontation,
it  can  continue
to     float     on

once  and  a  while
it  will  getstuck,
it's  string  caught  in  a  tree
or  wrapped  around  a  lamp  post
or  street  Light.

when people notice            this
they'll  say
     "oh  loook  up  there,  a  poor  bawoom,  is'  stuck"
and  for  a  moment  they
pity  that     b a l l o o n,
alone,
trapped  in  the  clutches
by  it's  own
     obliviousness.

they  look  up,
then  †urn     awaay        .
there  will  always  be
more

balloons.

So, I'm pretty sure that Jenny Owen Youngs is, by far, the most cOOOOOlest person I have ever met in my entire life!


Jenny Owen Youngs is a feisty, hyper-sensitive, disease-free singer/songwriter/former girl scout who wants to be your friend. claiming influences from Beck to Jesus Christ Superstar to Britney Spears, her music is an echo of Erin Mckeown hopping into Jeff Buckley's Pontiac, cruising backwoods Alabama red dirt roads and singing along to The Sundays and Nick Drake. Her songs straddle the heart-wrenching and the tongue-in-cheek and say giddyup...

Usually, I'm not able to concentrate on people's personal blogs (other then tao lin) but with Jenny's blog it's just not possible for me to get bored with it. Her humor/personality jus kills me! (in the good, wholesome sort of way lol).

Plus it also helps that she
1. does crazy covers at her shows such as beyonce, boys2men, postal service, kelly clarkson, regina spektor, kelis, 50cent, oasis, pocahontas, missy elliot.....
2. sold me her "i got knocked up by jenny owen youngs" t-shirt then gave me a free bat sticker and took a pic wit us at her show
3. she uses "wicked" in her vocabulary
4. she has a podcast entitled "Once more with feeling" with episodes called "coffee takes her clothes off" and "a lohan holiday with shervin"
(which just points to her awesomeness even more for she reads the buffy comics as well!)
5. has hilarious merchandise
6. has pictures of sharks, weird restaurant art, and silly car wash signs on her flickr account
7. she did the best cover of nelly's "hot in herre" with an even better video
8. is a member of Robot Explosion and friends with The Age of Rockets
9. has the funniest in-between song commentary at shows

annnnd she took the time to thank all her fans with this heartfelt note:

    ...Before I get into anything else, I would like to thank you (yes, you) for your involvement in my life in 2007. You came to a show. You made  one of my songs your MySpace profile song. You gave me a hug. You bought my record. You joined the forum on my website. You             included something of mine on a mix CD for your boyfriend, your girlfriend, or the asshole who deserted you. You brought me music,     chocolate, a book, or (most likely) a shark. You listened to the podcast I make with Bess and Andrew. You asked for a picture with me and didn't even blink when I told you the pose had to be "finale of your high school musical." You read this blog.

You've helped me feel incredibly blessed. Thank you.

I cannnot wait for her new album to come out, wheneva that is!

<a href="http://www.myspace.com/jennyowenyoungs" target="_blank"><img src="http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f221/musicbanners/JennyBanner.gif"/></a></center>

My fortune cookie fortune today read:

"Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better."

I'd been awhile, since I'd gotten a fortune that was even close to being insightful. After reading this one though, I had a feeling that maybe this was one I should consider, kinda like a new years resolution type thing. Now, to think of something I cannot change might be a little bit hard, seeing how I'm usually kinda stubborn about giving up on things, and I also find it hard getting over things too. Like, if something happens that bothers me, I'll distract myself till I forget about it, but it's only temporary -- I'm unable to completely ever rid my mind of anything, especially unsavorable memories, lol. But yah, so now this cookie wants me to like "accept" something I can't change? I'm pretty sure that that would be one of the hardest challenges I'd ever try. Eh well, I guess I'll make a few attempts. As always, the risk of fortune cookies is the 50/50 chance of getting the "good" fortune or the "bad" fortune. Hopefully this is the good one!

So, I think I'm a little late jumping on the "crushcrushfaint" fan train, but this song mash up was one of the best I'd heard since the Legion of Doom's "I Know What You Buried Last Summer". I am now a fan of Unforgettablesound's work.


Paramore+Linkin Park, thas pretty ill.

Wow. The closing montage of the Olympic ceremony tonight was so...powerful, that it brought me to tears. I'll miss it soo ;)

WAHHHHHHH 107 consecutive wins for Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh 2nite! Beach volleyball is my fav Olympic sport, (with gymnastics second) and those two are my favorite American team.

i really hate what alcohol does to people. 

it hurts to have the heart of a dancer, but not the body of one.


Ellen Sinopoli dance troupe

   il est dur pour avoir un béguin

Okay so, freshmen year --- the best part of this year I can honestly say is surprisingly not college at all.  It's being in Boston, particularly, being within walking distance of awesome concert/show venues.  I don't care if that sounds irresponsible or stupid or w/e. It's the truth. Everything I look forward to, everything that gets me excited beyond belief is the anticipation of seeing music live.  This year I have been able to see artists live that I only dreamed of seeing.  Everything from hugely popular artists to smaller unknown artists. For me, the best part of a live show (as in small venue like the Paradise or Middle East) is the intimacy, the energy, and most importantly, the emotional human connection that occurs between performer and audience. 

It's funny, if there was a school for this, people who accel in attending concerts, who analyze the mood and energy of the crowd, who study and give their full attention to the music and how it's played from the microphones right down to shoes, then damn i'd transfer to there right now; art school be damned.  As much as I love photography and drawing and all of that creative mumbo jumbo, I believe I would be more content in life if I was doing something involved in this world.

There's something sooo, fulfilling and inspiring about watching a singer pour their heart out into a song -- to watch them use their entire body to depict a hightened emotional feeling -- to see them become almost one with their instrument(s).  I'm usually one the verge of tiny tears from atleast one song.  The banter that occurs at a show, during a change of tuning or a transition from one song to the next, always makes me smile because it's just so, genuine.  Laughing at a joke or hearing the stories singers tell of a previous show, things they've noticed on tour, meanings behind songs, really emphasizes the idea that, hey, these are real people and yes they care. 

Care, as in, they care about what they do. The songs that they write; the music they compose. And when they can appear to play their stuff live and play to a group of people who also care, and who appreciate the singer in return for caring,(i hope that made sense) I'm sure it's a very humbling and satisfying experience. One that anyone would be lucky to encounter.

   

well
i guess i'll sit here lay here
i should be asleep beneath my wal-mart electric blanket
the itchy one that doesn't match my sheets
instead of this clandestine meeting of fingers to keys

Honestly, a screamer and a speaker? I don't think I could admire her more, lol.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

i will learn how to love a person and then i will teach you and then we will know

seen from a great enough distance i cannot be seen
i feel this as an extremely distinct sensation
of feeling like shit; the effect of small children
is that they use declarative sentences and then look at your face
with an expression that says, 'you will never do enough
for the people you love'; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one is trying hard enough
the effect of this is an extremely shitty sensation
of being the only person alive; i have been alone for a very long time
it will take an extreme person to make me feel less alone
the effect of being alone for a very long time
is that i have been thinking very hard and learning about existence, mortality,
loneliness, people, society, and love; i am afraid
that i am not learning fast enough; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one has ever tried hard enough; when i cried in your room
it was the effect of an extremely distinct sensation that 'i am the only person
alive,' 'i have not learned enough,' and 'i can feel the universe expanding
and making things be further apart
and it feels like a declarative sentence
whose message is that we must try harder'

okay so, tonight: Amherst - Mullins Center -- reminded me of why i fuckin love evanescence soo much.
#1. Amy Lee is Fuckin Awesome; still is and always will be my idol
#2. Head-banging is so totally HOT
#3. totally still [goth] inside
#4. piano/colored light shows = mind trip to magical land of darkness and amazingness
#5. Amy Lee is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice/funny!
#6. her voice makes me cry, her eyes make me die

I had heard earlier that during this tour she had started playing "Understanding (Wash it All Away)" (wicked ill-asss beautiful old song from Origin *squee*) so I was PRAYYINGG to all that is right in the world that she would play it tonight and SHE DID AND IT WAS AMAZINGXXXXX GAH.

so yah, that song completely made my life. + mullins center is definetley up there on best concert venues cuz i can get soooooo close without risk of being stomped on to death, lol. [seriously]

So, in summary, show was awesome, amy was fuckin amazing/beautiful/fun, set was ill, lights were crazy, music was incredible, venue was chill, freinds were love.

Can't wait till I see them again. Like I told chris tonight, "Every time that I see them, it's like the first time".
and oh, it really is

Why is it that my eyes burn?

Why is it that my eyes burn?

My hands say it’s from overworking.
My legs say it’s from running.
My heart says it is from running,
my mind…it doesn’t say anything.

And my eyes…still burn.

I wonder, would it be silly to will oneself to cry?

The need to express emotion is almost silly.
I’ll tap my fingers and hum hum hummm.
Some tune that will hopefully awaken my heart strings,
because tugging at them alone just doesn’t work.

Then I’ll blink, as my eyes become dry.

Two more blinks, and they shut.
It’s amazing how I see more when I can’t see at all.
First, I’ll wish to see something I’ll never know,
then I’ll wish to be something I’ll never have.

…makes my eyes squeeze tightly.

Finally, one tear falls.
And my eyes…still burn.